Random Tumblr Posts And Tidbits To Help You Waste Time

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andcallmeshirley
Dec 1, 2020 7:20 PM EST

Oh, Tumblr. Whether you love it or hate it, you have to admit - that place has remained a consistent source of entertainment throughout the years. And it's still going strong! Enjoy this fresh collection of funny Tumblr posts, and check out the previous list if you haven't had your fill yet.

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  • 01
    Hardwood - Woman Shocked to Find a Chicken Snuck Into Her House & Was Riding Around on a Roomba hey-its-capybara Follow living her best life
    via Reddit
  • 02
    Text - floverload it's dumb that stress makes your hair fall out slowly. you should reach a certain level of stress and it should all fall off at once in a heap floverload waiter: enjoy your meal! me: you too *becomes instantly bald*
    via Reddit
  • 03
    Text - oncelerfuur69-deactivated2019 tumblr, where I have to explain why child labor is wrong to 27 year old libertarians e higher-order Some kids literally have no choice but to work because their family is desperately poor. Are you going to prevent a family from having that extra income because it gives you moral fuzzys? the-knights-are-not-dead tumblr, where I have to explain why child labor is wrong to 27 year old libertarians
    via Reddit
  • 04
    Property - memescomedy Follow Time heals all wounds but the scars are a constant reminder CASH ADVANNCE markwateneymemorialcrater Follow there were better ways to do this. those signs do come off shorthalt Follow they actually grow back when you try to do that though. like lizard tails.
    via Reddit
  • 05
    Text - deepshowerthoughts No matter how old you are, an empty wrapping paper tube is still fun to bonk someone over the head with. ablossomfell #seeing a cardboard tube activates the cain instinct
    via Reddit
  • 06
    Text - Hey Luke i know its late but i got a bit high and decided to swim in the river with Jake and he went down stream and now i don't know what to do dOnno: dOnn0: SOMEONE HELP I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY BECAUSE IM NOT LUKE AND IM SCARED FOR JAKE'S SAFETY This got 32k and the guy was in the bathtub the whole time trippin on Isd
    via Reddit
  • 07
    Text - @ people who play support characters how????? i just wanna barge in and shoot everyone how can you just stay back and heal????? groomp Bad at aiming dvaboost scared aquagrunt bad at aiming & scared
    via Reddit
  • 08
    Text - canadianinja Seguir My dad kept having trouble with my pronouns (they/them) so I told him to pretend I was a swarm of bees and it somehow helped oak-png Seguir the NB in Non Binary actually stands for Numerous Bees #what is a human if not an autonomous collective of microbes in a mammal suit? #to think of the self.. Ver todas 38.496 notas
    via Reddit
  • 09
    Text - nicol--bolas Follow *gets inside your mind* * makes you gay* *leaves* thyrell Follow *does not let you leave* nicol--bolas Follow what am i supposed to do in here thyrell Follow do it again. make me gayer.
    via Reddit
  • 10
    Text - cultofbeatle Follow Alone of all the Beatles, Ringo possessed no talent for composing. But one day, in a sudden flash of inspiration, the germs of a song entered his head, as if from nowhere. He worked on the song for three hours, and presented it to the other three the next day. After an awkward silence, they felt obliged to point out that it had already been written and recorded by Bob Dylan. it feels wrong to laugh at this #tales of tumblr #the beatles 1,107 notes A
    via Reddit
  • 11
    Font - Omwg-7 STES BETTER PIZZA CHEN DEEE STAN ASMED RESH 220 398 2 Coca-Cola SELARN SAUSAE 1 250 E 395 25 0 39 2500 C POTPERII E NO MASK NO ENTRY Pi zvaigzdelasas #environmental storytelling Source: weonsinnombre 61,908 notes
    via Reddit
  • 12
    Text - rubashev Follow every time I see a photo of a bear it's like. that really is the ideal animal. large. fat. virtually indestructible. vaguely resembles both a large dog and a person. absolutely could and probably would maul me but nonetheless looks extremely huggable. 10/10 creatures, immaculate sharlatan-ka Follow No reason why bear ears need to be shaped like that except to tempt us all 12,803 notes A
    via Reddit
  • 13
    Cycling - 1 snorlaxatives i think cyclists are so funny with their little outfits and their little sunglasses and the way they travel in packs like the anchovies from spongebob snorlaxatives same energy 3,460 notes
    via Reddit
  • 14
    Text - taeminelitist Follow n*ji @nojivert ... sleeping with a blanket is lowkey girly af thats just me tho nệ 6:00 AM - 11/21/20 · Twitter for iPhone fellas, is it gay to not want to freeze to death at night?? kibumkim Follow Yes who u gotta be warm for? A man?
    via Reddit
  • 15
    Text - y whitepeopletwitter Health Nerd @GidMK My wife and I never baby talk to our kids. We use full sentences and a wide vocabulary My daughter is 4 and can carry a conversation. Adults are shocked at her social aptitude. My 2nd daughter isn't even 2 and she uses 4-syllable words Which is impressive, bc they're both cats nova-ofthe-north Well that was unexpected. 8,440 notes A
    via Reddit
  • 16
    Text - Source:. "Saying “you don't have anything to be depressed about, your life is great" is like saying "what do you mean have asthma, there is loads of air in here."" - something my 13 year old nephew said to my mum after she claimed had no reason to be suffering from depression, I repeat, he is THIRTEEN. (via 83,593 notes
    via Reddit
  • 17
    Text - tilthat TIL Spiders don't have muscles in their legs. They extend them using a system of hydraulics powered by their blood pressure. When they die, spiders’ legs curl up because the blood pressure is gone. via reddit.com thyrell haters will see me moving via a complex system of hydraulics and be like he cant afford muscles ratsofftoya aint that how penises work too 11,442 notes A
    via Reddit
  • 18
    Text - firefox-official Follow love sleeping in guest bedrooms. they're always just a Little off firefox-official Follow blanket is tucked in too tight. headboard is too cold. fan is a little too loud. it's incredible firefox-official Follow lamp is just out of reach and it's the only light in the room. the floor is carpeted but cold. it's always 8 pm 98,459 notes
    via Reddit
  • 19
    Text - striders Follow leader of a trio of college kids waking past me at walmart: okay. mission number two, finding where the popcorn is. his friend: wait, what was mission number one? leader: fi getting here, travis. exigencelost Follow This really is what grocery shopping in college was like 171,650 notes A
    via Reddit
  • 20
    Text - Little-known downsides of immortality: Tearing your favourite article of clothing and discovering that it's irreplaceable because the technique of its manufacture has been lost Realising you've thought of the perfect comeback to someone who's been dead for three hundred years • Not being able to eat your favourite dish anymore because the source of some critical ingredient has gone extinct Having strong opinions about sports that are no longer played Getting a song from the 13th Century s
    via Reddit
  • 21
    Text - scionhanzo Follow 2021 predictions • january: footage of trump being removed from the white house • february: valentines day commercials of people wearing masks during sex • march: popular hazbin hotel artist starts a gofundme for surgery, ppl debate if they deserve money or not • april: new meme called "boinkers" • may: right wing tries to make "confederate memorial day" a national holiday • june: new nintendo mobile game and everyone obsesses with it for two weeks before it gets forgott
    via Reddit
  • 22
    Text - gayarsonist Follow "woman"? no, you misheard. i'm an omen. generalgrievousdatingsim Follow i don't identify as “male" or "female", i identify as a warning ro-zden Follow Congratulations!7 It's a Harbinger lockmusings Follow *conservative suburban mom voice* is she... you know... a portent of doom
    via Reddit
  • 23
    Text - You've got to make a statement. You've got to look inside yourself and say: What am I willing to put up with today?" -Arin Hanson its-the-firebug I used to think this was a really nice and inspirational quote. Then I found out he yelled this in the middie of a fit of rage while playing Sonic 06 in response to a nearly game breaking glitch. And that his next words were "NOT. F'CKING. THIS! andrusi tbh that makes it even more inspirational
    via Reddit
  • 24
    Text - BAD ORIS badjokesbyjeff Y JEFF I alled my friend just now and said, "I have a joke for you." Friend: "Ok shoot" Me: "What has a tiny penis and hangs down?" Friend: "I dunno what?" Me: A bat.. now what has an enormous penis and hangs up? Friend: I dunno what? Click e lyingnudieonthefloor THIS IS NOT A BAD JOKE, JEFF. THIS IS THE PINNACLE OF COMEDY.
    via Reddit
  • 25
    Text - fairymascot the ather day i went with a friend to the museum, and outside its entrance, was greeted with this eight cats sitting there. perfectly still everyone around them was cooing and taking pictures but those cats did not budge. for a moment i was actually wondering whether that was supposed to be some sort of experimental new performance art. but then one lady came out of the museum and they all got up and followed after her. good god, i hope they're her cats. i hope they do this ev
    via Reddit
  • 26
    Pink - youre-beyOnd-beautiful: angrymuslimah: "Gulabi Gang" is a gang of women in India who track down and beat abusive husbands with brooms. this is too thug not to reblog
    via Reddit
  • 27
    Text - sickbrokenangel Follow YOU CANT REMEMBER WHERE YOU CAME FROM YOU CANT REMEMBER WHERE YOURE GOING YOU CANT REMEMBER KNOWING sickbrokenangel Follow POV: you are cotton eyed joe pancake-shmamcake THIS IS THE FUNNIEST FU.... RESPONSE IVE EVER GOTTEN ON ANY OF MY POSTS EVER 120,309 notes
    via Reddit
  • 28
    Text - cursedstim Follow hey ohio followers.. I'm sorry cursedstim Follow i just rode through your whole state in 4 hours and saw like 3 buildings cautionlazer Follow hey op where did you see the buildings cautionlazer Follow where are the buildings op
    via Reddit
  • 29
    Electronics - wizardOrb Follow ... 5 thyrell starshadowx2 Follow U2 R1 DEL look at yuu, hacker, a pathetic creature of meat and bone. How con you chalenge a perfect, immortal mochine? Look at you, hacker, a pathetic creature of meat and bone. How can you challenge a perfect, immortal machine? hauntedcephalopod Follow 97,731 notes C8 A GIGAITE C19E C51
    via Reddit
  • 30
    Text - genderfluid-and-confuzled Follow How do I tell someone I like them? genderfluid-and-confuzled Follow update: iMessage Today 5:12 PM sup im in love with you also what's the answer for number four on the math hw? akira-is-here-queers Follow i'm impressed
    via Reddit
  • 31
    Text - weirdchristmas Follow Your quarantine nickname is: How you feel right now + The last thing you ate monkeywiki Follow limp biscuit Source: weirdchristmas
    via Reddit
  • 32
    Text - lo-cotidiano I'm rewatching Avatar: the Last Airbender from the beginning And one of the links I'm using is from Nick.com, where they put in fun facts about the characters and the voice actors and stuff into the episode I'm watching "The Warriors of Kyoshi," and there's this scene where Zuko goes, “nice try, Avatar, but these little girls can't save you!" And this is the fun fact the writers put in: UNTRUE. LITTLE GIRLS CAN DO ANYTHING THEY PUT THEIR MINDS TO.
    via Reddit
  • 33
    Text - M @milicopeland A told this lassie sat next to me on the bus her guide dog was braw and she went "aw I wouldny Ken "a choked on ma irn bru, pure splutterin peridottea91 Follow Translation: I told this girl sent next to me on the bus that her guide dog was cute and she said "Aw I wouldn't know" and I choked on my coffee happyhumannoises Follow I think this is the first one of these that i literally couldn't understand a damn thing written 87,797 notes
    via Reddit
  • 34
    Cat - b-reathed the highlight of my day was my teacher bringing his cat to school, and everytime he asked the class a question his cat would meow and he would accept it as an answer equestrianrepublican Love it 10/10. भ्र ॥ |
    via Reddit
  • 35
    Face - jasonhorton Follow My parents: please dont start anything on thanksgiving Me: The War on Drugs is racist Psychedelics have medicinal value 358 views 851 views Imperialist US drug policy is the reason drug cartels exist 93 views People who use drugs deserve compassion
    via Reddit
  • 36
    Text - achievemenhunt Follow weatherboy (derogatory) duskbcys Follow op what does this mean achievemenhunt Follow wouldn't you like to know weatherboy 1,439 notes A
    via Reddit
  • 37
    Text - nutsacktorturer Follow nice frontal lobe :) nutsacktorturer Follow *stirs it like a latte* O psychoticrambling Follow UYEVFyWHfrbgkeshrgYTb76wse nutsacktorturer Follow the procedure was a success 19,119 notes
    via Reddit
  • 38
    White - Pls throw?? NO TAKE! ONLY THROW Pls Pet?? NO PET! ONLY PET!! imaginarycircus no one told me there was a cat version
    via Reddit
  • 39
    Text - BLACK VES babashookbitch Follow MATTER today I literally heard a woman say "i cooked two separate meals for easter because my husband said the first one I made was too girly " girl just throw the whole husband out duckleduster Follow fellas is it gay to eat your wife's cookin
    via Reddit
  • 40
    Text - aaronsmithtumbler Older forms of English kept Latin's gender-specific suffixes -tor and -trix; tor is for men and trix is for women. So a male pilot is an aviator, a female pilot is an aviatrix. A male fighter is a gladiator, a female fighter is a gladiatrix. This contrasts with the modern system, where tor is for both men and women, and trix are for kids. val-ritz YOU COME INTO MY HOUSE Source: aaronsmithtumbler
    via Reddit
  • 41
    Text - hogwartshousefriends My brother: "to his online friends" I gotta go. My pizza is here. One of his online friends: Where's my pizza? Everyone: "laughs My brother: "logs out of chat" Me: You know. You could order them pizza. My brother: What? Me: You know his adress. My brother: We live in Canada. They are in the States. Me: So. You can order it online and pay with a credit card. -20 minutes later- Online friend: HOW THE F DID YOU GET ME A PIZZA FROM CANADA? hogwartshousefriends I like how
    via Reddit
  • 42
    Text - REI tilthat Follow TIL that adult diaper sales are about to eclipse baby diaper sales in Japan via reddit.com sketchiedetails Follow Cman boys Let's pacify this t CSEGA vermouthea Follow i think it's about an aging population and a huge decline in birth rates but your interpretation is funnier
    via Reddit

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